Life Turns (Blogtember: Day 6)

Today's Prompt:  
Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn.

I have been thinking about this particular prompt since I read it a couple of weeks ago.  I have been trying to define the exact moment when I felt my life take a turn for the better.  

I believe it was around the time when my grandfather passed a few years ago.

Let me explain....

I have not had a lot of death in my life.  There have only been a handful of people to pass away in my life, but the one I took the hardest; the one that put me into such a deep, dark hole, was that of a friend of mine back in 2001.  

It took me a very long time to get out of that hole.  

Death effects me strongly.  It hurts me to my soul.  When people cease to exist in this life, and they were part of my life, I crumble.  

When my grandfather passed away, I didn't crumble.

Yes, I was sad.  Yes, I was hurt.  He was my grandfather-the only one I had left-and it was his time to go.  I didn't want to be left alone the first couple of days because I wasn't sure how I was going to react.  I didn't know if I was going to drop back into that hole again or not.

I didn't.

A couple of days after my grandfather's funeral, I was lying awake in bed, processing the past few days and I had the thought, "This doesn't hurt as badly as the last one." I began comparing my actions from 2001 to then and I was, virtually, fine.

That's how I knew my life had taken a turn.  

That's how I knew that I had acquired the necessary tools to deal with what life throws at me.

There had not been a major freak out, crying fest like before, there hadn't been days of no eating, there hadn't been any couldn't get out of bed days......

I had it.  I had my life under control.

School was going great.  The Hubbs (not quite yet "The Hubbs" yet)  and I were doing great.  I had a job that I didn't necessarily love, but I didn't hate it.  

I had learned to deal with life.  Go me.

I could have fallen apart all over again, but I didn't.  I remained strong.  I finished my degree despite being up all hours of the night with a newborn.  The Hubbs and I got married.  We made it through living in a one bedroom apartment with a newborn.  We made it through our first rental home and then to buy our own.  I am slowly adjusting to being a SAHM.

I can function as a human being.

That is something that I couldn't do ten years ago.

There is a phrase that I have said to myself for many "after therapy" years (Because I categorize my life as before and after therapy.)  and it has gotten me through so much:



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