The Month of 30: 30 Things That Make Me Laugh (Week 2)



Welcome to week two of The Month of 30 Series!  If you are a first time visitor, go here to find out more about the series.  If you missed last week, you can catch up here!

For a very long time, I didn't really laugh.  I was a very serious person for various reasons.

It took me a long time (and much work from my husband-thanks babe) to get me to loosen up. Someone once said not to take life too seriously, you won't get out alive anyway.  It took me year's to wrap my head around that.  Life was going to go on, regardless of my state of mind, and I needed to make the best of it.  Once I got my head around that, it all started to get a little better.  The best parenting advice I ever got was not to lose my sense of humor, I was going to need it.  We are almost two years in to parenthood and, let me tell you, laughter has helped immensely.

This week I have broken up certain aspects of the past thirty years and categorized them.  There are still thirty things, but they are more like short blips, stories, etc. that I find humorous or that happened and I can laugh about it now.  Get comfortable and get ready to laugh.  (And go ahead and laugh at my expense-it's okay. Some of these are kind of embarrassing to admit, but they are funny nonetheless.)

Parenthood

1.  I cannot count how many times my child has pooped, peed, and thrown up on me.  One time in particular was when she was still "new" (probably not even six weeks old) and she had a poopy diaper.  I went to change her, of course.  Well, she wasn't done.  At all.  I will spare you the details. I got the short end of the deal on that one. :-/  She also ruined one of my shirts.

2.  When L gets mad, it's kind of hard to keep a straight face.  This seriously may be a parenting fail, but the kid is so darn cute when she does her "open mouth, silent cry" that I have to stifle my laughter when I comfort her. Sometimes I ask her in the middle of her open mouth, silent cry if she is mad.  It usually comes out like this:  "*big deep breath*  YEEEAAAAAAAAAA!"

3.  I forgot to put a diaper on L after I changed her once in the middle of the night.  I took the old one off, cleaned her up, buttoned her sleeper back up, and put her back to bed.  Yea, she woke up twenty minutes later and that resulted in new bedding, a new sleeper, and this time, a DIAPER.

4.  Taking a shower with a toddler present in the bathroom results in three cats, a toddler, and every dry surface in the bathroom to be soaked by the time the shower is done.

5.  My daughter likes to yank my shirt down in various stores.  I'm sure the loss prevention people love seeing me come in the store with my kid. *sigh*

6.  The doctor that delivered L wore a gold chain and smelled of Old Spice.  (Trust me, that wasn't my normal doctor.) I now have an aversion to Old Spice.  And gold chains.

L Antics

1.  L has an obsession with putting skirts, pants, and shorts on her head.  Sometimes she just wears them around her neck, other times she wears them like a hat.  Yes, I have pictures.

2.  When L gets really excited about something, her mouth makes the perfect O shape and she says, "Oooooo WHAT IS DAT!?"

3.  She could mosh with the best of them.  That's what her dancing looks like.

4.  She used to always fill her diaper on the way to Wal-Mart, forcing Mommy to make a beeline for the bathroom to clean her up and change her outfit.  And sometime's Mommy's shirt. :-/

5.  L is never allowed to have honey ever again.  She had croup at one point and I had read that if you give a teaspoon of honey to a toddler, that it would help coat their throat, thus suppressing the coughing so she could get some relief.  Well, I gave her a half a teaspoon and she bounced off the walls for three hours.  NEVER. AGAIN.

Driving

1.  The first day I got my driver's license, I ditched my car, and did $1500 worth of damage.  To only the underside of the car.  Making a left turn.  In a 1994 Mercury Topaz.  I was going to visit a boy that I liked.  Oh, did I mention I ditched it right in front of his driveway? :)

2.  I backed into a pole I didn't see.  A huge pole.  Like, I can't believe I missed that.  I gave myself whiplash.  Thankfully, L wasn't with me.  My car now has a huge black patch on my red bumper. :-/

3.  I totaled a car by simply deploying the air bags.  (I rear ended a car in front of me and it hit the sensors on the front of my car just right that it deployed the air bags.  That was the only thing wrong with it.  No major damage.  It was a 1999 Grand Am.....My wreck was in 2012....My parents bought the car for 1500 bucks.....deployed air bags=totaled car )

4.  Every time I get a new car, I do what I call the "Cup Holder Test".  If I can fit a 44 oz. fountain soda in the cup holder, it's a good car.  If I can't, I hate the car and I wish I never would have bought it.  (I have since learned to bring a 44 oz. fountain soda with me when I test drive.)

5.  The first new car I ever bought myself was a 2005 Chevy Cobalt.  It was red and her name was Mia.  I bought her because of the commercial they used to advertise it.  Yea, not one of my finer moments.

6.  I sing and dance in the car.  I don't try to hide it either.  My favorite place to do it is stuck in traffic.  If people notice, the crazier I get with it.

Household

1.  I am forbidden to use anything but a butter knife or steak knife in the house.  I slit my palm open several years ago on a butcher knife and scared the crap out of E.  He banned my usage of knives after that and I abide by that rule.

2.  I have to climb on top of our counters to get into our cabinets.  Yes, I have a step stool.  I am not allowed to use it if E isn't home.  I fall off of them when unsupervised.

3.  I killed a Peace Lily.  That we got when E's grandmother died.  Peace Lily's are almost indestructible plants.  I watered it too much. When I want to plant something or buy flower's for the front porch, E just says, "Peace Lily", and I abruptly shut up.

4.  We have what we call "Kitty NASCAR" every night at about 11pm.  Our three cats chase each other in a circle starting from the living room, into the kitchen, down the short hall, and back into the living room.  They do it for an hour.

5.  I can't work a recliner.  Seriously.  I get stuck in them and end up just climbing out of it without putting the leg rest down.  I can't operate the handle most of the time.

6.  I will bust out into random dance moves all over this house.  My favorite place is at the kitchen sink doing dishes.  I always have a song in my head.

7.  Our bed is too tall for me.  I pretty much have to launch myself into bed at night.  I won't let E buy me steps or a stool because I will feel like I am a dog.

Random

1.  I always sing, in my head, "Fat guuuy in a little coooaat" when I put on my coat.  I sing it just like Chris Farley, too.

2.  This video.

3.  This website.

4.  I have a friend that threatens to put on a cow suit and come dance outside my window when I am having a bad day.  That's a friend right there.

5.  There were a lot of nights I don't remember from my early 20s, but I do remember having a party at my apartment one night and a police helicopter flying over and spotlighting the woods behind the complex.  I got so freaked out (which was probably the stupid amounts of alcohol in my system) that I curled in a ball on the couch and was trying to think of what to tell my parents when I had to call them from jail.  Sidenote:  They weren't after me.  They were looking for a burglary suspect.  Also not one of my finer moments.

6.  When I was in college and a summer RA (Resident Assistant) I, and a couple other's, would sneak over the fence to the pool and go for late night swim's.  One time I misjudged my landing and I rolled my ankle.  We walked to the pool.  It was on the other side of campus. :-/  I also had to file an accident report with the university since I was on call. :-/ Sidenote:  My boss was pretty cool about it.  She thought the pain of a rolled ankle would be enough to make sure it never happened again.  It didn't.

Alright folks, there you have it!  I hope I at least made some of you laugh, smile, and/or reminisce about some of the things that have make you laugh over the years.  Stay tuned later this week when I share my teenage year's with you.

Until next time,
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2 comments:

  1. Great post!! Parenthood is a wonderful and comical experience at times. Thank you for this post! More ladies need to be aware. Thanks for commenting on What Jean Likes. Just getting back to everyone who commented now!! I'm following you via GFC and FB!

    Have a lovely week!

    Aloha,

    Jean // What Jean Likes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Jean! I am all about being real! I think the "funny, but kind of embarrassing" moments of parenthood are some of the best ones.

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