reflective epiphany


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I haven't been around much this week.  It wasn't that it was a busy week, my heart just wasn't in writing.  I felt a bit stifled, put off, and overwhelmed all at the same time.

The blog has taken off the past two weeks and, while that is something I have wanted since the beginning, it sent me into shell shock.  Suddenly, the blog hit 10,000 views and one post has been pinned over thirty times and viewed close to 600 times just since September 23.  I also hit over 500 followers on Facebook in the span of a week.

It was all a bit much at one time and I freaked the hell out. 

Then, I put out the reader survey.  It hasn't been as well received as I thought it would be, but that's okay.  The feedback I have received has all been useful and in some instances, humbling.  However, the feedback has made me start to really examine myself and this blog.

Bear in mind that all of the above was swimming in my head last night, along with a conversation with my best friend on Thursday, and lyrics of a song I heard yesterday, when my epiphany hit me at 12:30 this morning.

So, let me break this down for you:

Overwhelmed about the blog
+
Conversation with the best friend who basically 
told me to stop being a sheep in the blogging world.
+
These lyrics from Sara Bareilles:

"Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave..."

=

I need to remember why I started this blog in the first place.



It wasn't to post recipes or crafts.  
It wasn't to display DIY projects.  
It wasn't to be a copy cat blog.

And I let it happen.

I let this whole thing get away from me and now I am sitting here wondering what the hell I have been doing these past months.

I wanted this space for me and my writing.  I wanted to finally share myself with the world, my genuine self, and instead, I showed people another copy cat.  

I am actually ashamed of myself.

And I owe you all an apology.

This blog was never meant for anything but my own words.  I apologize for allowing this space to get out of control and not showing you all the real me.  I am not a crafter (although, I do find it fun sometimes, but not enough to blog about it weekly), I am not a gourmet chef (most of my recipes come from Pinterest or the dusty cook books on my baker's rack in the kitchen), and I'm certainly not a fashionista.  I wouldn't know fashion if it slapped me in the face.  

If you came here thinking that I am a recipe/craft/DIY/fashion blog, I am telling you I am not.  I am also telling you that I understand if you want to stop following me after reading this post.  I really do. It's okay.  

I never intended for this blog to go this way.  I am still examining how it all happened and I think I can pinpoint what set it in motion, but I'm still dissecting it all.

I am so sorry, guys.



Allow me to re-introduce myself: 

I'm just a girl who became a mother and a wife.

My talent is my words.

I am simply Sara.

6 comments:

  1. Hey Sara,
    You are an awesome writer. I wish I could say things so eloquently. Just keep on being you and doing that thing YOU do and most importantly, ENJOY what YOU Do. <3 Kim

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words, Kim! Have a great rest of the weekend!

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  2. What in the world are you apologizing for, Girl? This is YOUR blog and you are the master of it! I find your blog refreshing as it is...just as it is. It's a plethora...a potpourri...a salad bowl of thoughts and ideas that come from your life. If you wish to throw in some recipes, some crafts, some fashion, some child-rearing experiences, then the blog is fulfilling what you wanted it to be. Who wants to read a personal blog about the news (without opinions), sports (without your favorites), religions (without beliefs), travels (without experiences), or health (without knowledge of what works)? Not me! Actually none of those types of blogs would interest me much anyway. That's why there are highly-publicized websites for those topics.

    No need to apologize. Be who you are and be happy! You are a wonderful person and deserve the attention you've received. Follow the light, Sara.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw Kathy, thank you so much for your kind words! I am feeling better after getting it all off my chest. I think sometimes I get really intimidated by the blogging world and it tends to make me nervous. That's usually when these types of posts happen. Ha! I do need to get back to some actual writing, though. It's what I came here to do. Thank you again, so much, for your kindness. It means a lot to me. :)

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  3. As long as you stay true to yourself, that's all that matters. I can't speak for others, but I blog for me and my own sanity! I try my best to keep it real and not be persuaded by others, but it's hard. Huge props to you for getting back to your roots!!

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    Replies
    1. It is very hard not to be persuaded by others! I see something and see how many hits, pins, etc. something gets and I think I should try that too because, up until recently, I wasn't getting squat. Then I don't do it well because it isn't my niche. It is exhausting. So, I need to really get back to my roots with this blog and push myself to get deeper into writing. Who knows-maybe something with actually resonate with thousands of people and that can be *my* big moment!

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