The Rest of my Life

***I swear I will not quote Tim McGraw in this blog post.  Scout's honor. :)***

I have been thirty for a week and, just as I expected, not much has changed.  For the past month, I have been thinking a lot about how others perceive 30 and how some get really bent out of shape about it.  I don't see what the fuss is all about, personally, but I suppose that some people just don't have the outlook I have.  I chose to look at all of this differently.  I chose, a long time ago, to look at my life differently.  I make conscious choices, every day, to view the other side of things.  I stopped concentrating on the "bad" many years ago.  After all, concentrating on all of that just kept me in the hole I was in for even longer.  I had to learn, as we usually do in life, that your outlook is everything.

It is strange to think of myself as 30.  I don't look 30 (good genes), in some instances I don't act 30 (my husband has stories), and I don't feel 30.  People have always commented how I am "wise beyond my years", well, thank you, thought it came with a price; a price that I am glad I paid in hindsight.  I guess a large majority of this strange feeling of being 30 is that I never thought I would be here, breathing, and writing to all of you.  This last week has been surreal.  I have been walking around almost as if I have new eyes.  It is almost as if the being that is the mastermind behind all of this came to me and said, "Here is your next 30, my gift to you.  You earned this."

I earned this.

I don't take gifts lightly.  I take them very seriously.  I hold them very carefully, I cherish them, use them with care, and I only share them with people whom I trust.

It took me a long, long time to get that through my head....

For the rest of my life...

I am going to try very, very hard for the rest of my life to not squander or damn what has been given to me.  

I am going to live my life out loud and towards my purpose.

I am going to raise a kind, peaceful, confident, respectful, intelligent little girl that will know she has great things inside of her and I support every piece of her.

I will love my husband with my whole heart for my whole life like I promised him I would do in our  vows.

I will try my best to let things and people go when it is time.  

I will speak when I need to, be silent when I need to, and slide my shoulder over to catch tears when I need to.

I will take care of myself so that I can see L have children.

I will love myself; even if I make a mistake and even if I fail at something.

I will be the friend I need to the friends I have.  They will reciprocate, I know this, because I have some of the best friends a girl could have.

I will pour my heart and soul into my life.

I will take life as it comes, use the tools that I have learned these last thirty years to deal with what comes my way, and I will remember, "This too shall pass." 

I will have fun with my life.

I only have one.

I am so looking forward to the rest of my life. :)

Until next time,

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