Hello readers!  I am BACK!  Yes, yes I mean it this time.  I actually had every intention of coming back last week, but because of the death of Robin Williams and the riots in Ferguson, Missouri (which, yes, is across the river from where I am, but it's still too close for comfort)--I decided to keep quiet.  Everyone else was jumping on the bandwagon to "blog about it" and I chose not to.  It wasn't because I didn't have anything to say (because, let's face it, if you know me, you know I always have something to say), but to rather remain quiet and use that week to reflect on what I needed to say. I don't want my words to be taken lightly.  If I am going to contribute to the masses of blog posts about those current issues, I want it to actually mean something instead of just another blog rant. 

Those post(s) to come...

Anyway, I am back and I am ready to bring you all the budget fashion and beauty posts that you all have missed for so long.  I took a lot of time off, so I hope some of you are still here to enjoy all the tips and tricks I have to dish out.  Also, my favorite time of the year is coming, and I can't wait to talk about fall fashion and show you all what I've been buying to keep myself warm as the weather changes. 

This week I will have my monthly Literary Junkies post up and on Thursday, I have a guest post coming from Nikki at Dollar Store Diva!  Stay tuned and watch me get this blog back to normal in no time! 

Oh, lookie here, I'm writing a blog post! I should have taken off the month of June in regards to blogging.  I just haven't had the brain capacity to write anything that I had planned.  I'm taking some time today to sit down and just write all this out so I can stop thinking about doing it--hence the title of the post. 

This month has been full of planning L's 3rd birthday party, Father's Day, a weekend getaway (which is happening this weekend), and all the other daily things that come up.  I had tons of blog posts planned for this month and I think I managed to write five posts I really wanted to get out in the world.  I apologize guys!  However, I think you all enjoyed what I did put out this month, so that's a plus.

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Earlier in the year, I had talked about how I had a few projects up my sleeve for 2014 and I think one of those needs to be started ASAP.  I am looking at taking down the Facebook page (don't freak out on me!) and producing a newsletter that would come straight to your inbox once a week from Life & Leopard.  Facebook has completely screwed with their algorithms and has made it almost impossible for bloggers to get our content seen from our pages.  Only ten of you see my posts via Facebook on a daily basis.  There are 92 fans on my page.  That's insane and I feel like I am putting too much time into something that isn't helping me.

However, there is a way that you can all follow me on my personal profile and you can get my blog updates that way.  I'm still working out the details on that portion, but I think a newsletter and having readers follow my personal profile on Facebook would really help out in the long run. 

I've also been thinking a lot about my personal writing lately.  I love writing beauty and style posts.  Surprisingly, I do well with them, but they aren't satisfying my creative writing side.  This tells me that I need to start making time to write creatively and really work on getting those things out into the world.  That is where my heart is at and it's why I started blogging in the first place.  

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I love Life & Leopard.  This blog has helped me in my journey back to myself after L was born.  I went from not caring about anything "me" wise to being able to balance it all pretty well.  There are still some things I'm working on, but I'm much further than I was a year ago.  I have all of you to thank for that.  I really do. If it wouldn't have been for all of you coming here to read what I have to say in regards to beauty and style, I would have quit.  

So, that's what has been on my mind lately.  We are going away for the weekend and I am checking out of the social media world to give my brain a break.  I am going to take some books, a pen, and a journal and remember what it was like to entertain myself with those things.  Have a great weekend everyone!  I'll be back next week! 

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Let's talk about what happened last week, shall we?  We are going to refer to last week as "The Unintentional Break".  What started off as a normal Monday off, quickly turned into Tuesday off and then it was just over from there. 

Along about Wednesday morning, I realized that the universe was trying to tell me something when I said, out loud in the shower, "Screw blogging this week.  I just don't have it in me." 

I love to blog.  I love talking to you guys about fashion, style, and how not to break the bank re-vamping your wardrobe.   I love trying new products and writing about them in hopes that it will work for someone else and make their life easier.  

However, I haven't had much of a creative writing outlet lately.  I've been putting a lot of energy into this blog because it is my baby and I love her and she needed attention.  Well, I burnt myself out.  I burnt myself out and the universe was trying to tell me to stop for just a bit and re-group.  So I did.

During that time, I decided that I was going to have to start putting more work into my other dreams, the largest of those being a published author.  There are many emotions that come along with that big dream, and they have been a bit hard to work through this week.  The biggest thing is fear, but I am aware of it and I am working to get through it.  

So, last week was a decompression week and now I am back here and blogging.  I have the wheels turning and I feel like I'm actually getting somewhere this week instead of stuck and behind.  

My biggest goal right now is getting two weeks of blog posts written and scheduled so I can take two weeks and focus on writing for a new venture of mine that has been sitting and waiting patiently for me to pay attention to it.  

So, here's to new starts and new posts! 

First of all, I wanted to thank everyone for the sweet comments on my last post.  That was actually one of the hardest posts I have hit 'publish' on, believe it or not.  I got tired of it just sitting in the back of my brain, nagging at me.  Ha!  What is it that they say?  Sometimes you only need 20 seconds of insane bravery to change your life?  I believe that was mine.  :)

Since I am in a period of transition here on the blog, I thought I may take today to stop in and say "hello" and fill you all in on what is going on.

I am in contact with Jessica from CreationsbyJLyn and we are working together to create a brand spanking new blog for this little space right here.  Up until this point, I have done most of the work around here, but I wanted to step my game up a bit and have an expert come in and give this space a face lift.  Guys....it's going to be epic!!

Secondly, I've been doing tons of research on blogging and really trying to get myself organized since I am going to be managing two blogs instead of one.  There is a lot of information out there on managing your time, how often you should post to social media, SEO, blog organizers, your about me page....I mean, Pinterest is full of this stuff!  I have been reading and pinning so late into the evenings it's shameful!  I have found a lot of great things though, so there is that.

Lastly, I've not really talked about it much here on the blog because I didn't want to jynx myself, but....I've been working out.  I have been putting L down for a nap and walking on the treadmill (that my completely awesome husband got for me) every day since the beginning of February.   I am up to walking two miles a day (at 3.8 mph) and have noticed some results.  My waist is a half an inch away from pre-pregnancy and my hips are about an inch and a half away from pre-pregnancy size.  This is the best I have felt in over a year and I don't even care what the scale says.  I never thought I would say that.

So, there you have it!  I am still here, I'm just decompressing.  I am nearing the end of a chapter in my life and I am getting ready to begin a new one.  I am all kinds of emotions right now, but they are all expected.  I will keep you all updated on the progress of this blog and will let you know when the changes take place so you can come celebrate with me!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Sooo, this post was supposed to go up yesterday as a weekend re-cap, but it didn't.  Instead, it's going up today as a whats-been-going-on-around-here post.  I spent most of yesterday feeling like I was running behind, but I was truly just trying to catch up from the weekend.

L making a card for Daddy.

My "perfect top" cupcakes. It never happens, so I had to document it.

L adding the "special sprinkles" to Daddy's cupcakes.

The finished product.  Nice, huh? I was worn out by the time my head hit the pillow Friday night.  I signed up for my first 5k on Saturday morning.  I will be walking in The Color Run this year! Next year, I plan to run.  Wish me luck!  Saturday evening, L went to spend the evening with The Hubbs' parents and we went out to eat with my sister-in-law and her boyfriend at Lotawata Creek  We ate too much (but it was sooo good) and we came home and vegged on the couch for the rest of the evening. We slept in on Sunday, went to lunch with The Hubbs' parents for his birthday at Red Lobster, and came home and vegged some more.  The Super Bowl was on, but we only watched for the commercials.  Ha! I always have to see the new Clydesdale commercial and both of the commercials did not disappoint! I spent yesterday catching up from the weekend.  We had to run to the store and pick up a few things before the next round of snow came in (it's now here...snowing it's butt off..ugh) and I did my first work out on my treadmill yesterday.  Last night, L had her first play class at one of the local gyms.  We had loads of fun!  I counted it as a second dose of cardio yesterday-we did that much running around. That just about sums up the past four days!  I'll be back tomorrow with a new recipe!

Life is full of unknowns.

Some of us live in fear of those unknowns while others don't give them a second thought.

I know people who live in fear and I know people who choose to live their life out loud.

I have been thinking a lot lately about my position in my life.  I have been questioning if I actually own my life, or if I am too scared to take control.

I believe I am in the in between.

There are some things that I take initiative with and go for it (for example, this blog) while there are other things that I say "Someday..." to and file them away.

But, what if those "someday's" never come?

What if it all falls apart and I'm left to think about all those "someday's" without enough time to think about them, let alone do them?

I think it's normal for us to think about our immortality, especially if you have children.  I don't think it is healthy to dwell on it, but a good dose of reality every once in awhile can keep us on our toes and cause us to re-evaluate our lives.

Which is where I am at right now in my life.

I am re-evaluating.

Not about the face value things (my marriage, L) because I wouldn't trade those for the world.  Those are my dreams come true and I am one lucky woman in that arena of life.

I'm talking about the deeper things, the things that are at my core, the things that make me me.

Because I want to live life out loud without being afraid of rejection, obstacles, and set backs.  I just want to do the things that are at the center of my being, do them the best way I know how, and fill up that portion of my soul that is mine and mine alone.

I want to do it because I want my daughter to know that, no matter what society tells her, she is an individual and the things that are at her core, are hers and hers alone.  No one can take those from her.  She owns them and she owns the responsibility to nurture them and help them grow.

From this day forward, there will be more living out loud going on.  There will be more examples set for L, there will be more of enjoying the little things, and there will be more of quenching the thirst in my own soul.

I have a legacy to carve out and deepen.

I just pray there's enough time.

I have a daunting task ahead of me this week.  This week, I will be packing up our home that we have lived in for the past year and preparing to move to our first home.  I am happy, I am sad, I am overwhelmed, and I am nostalgic.

L learned to walk here.  She started talking here.   She grew out of her highchair and into a booster seat here.  This was our first house.  Our landlord was lovely.  Unfortunately, she passed away in December of last year and the new landlord has recently taken over.  It just isn't the same.  We are quickly outgrowing this house.  So, it is time to go on to bigger and better things.

I was thinking about all of this this morning while I was browsing Instagram, and a woman I follow posted the above quote as a caption on one of her photo's.  (Sidenote:  Her family is doing something so amazing!  Her, her husband, and their four kiddos are traveling the country for the next six months with a trailer in tow.  They sold most of their belongings and set out on Monday on their grand adventure.  If that isn't living life, I don't know what is!  Check out Joy and keep track of their amazing adventure here.  So inspiring!)

We are finding ourselves at the beginning of a new adventure and, while it certainly has been a roller coaster and scary, we need to give hope a chance to float up.  So, here I go off to pack up a few boxes, all the while giving hope a chance to float up!

What a weekend!  Phew!  I'm kind of glad it's over, honestly.  We didn't do a lot, it is the events that took place that kind of threw off the whole weekend and made it kind of blah.

However, that doesn't mean there weren't a couple of bright spots that didn't make it a complete wash-out.  Friday, I took L to get her first hair cut and it was a total success and Saturday morning L and I went to get some lovely, older furniture for our new home (for free, I may add!).  The rest of the weekend we just spent laying around.  The weather was chillier than usual and it was dreary, so we didn't do much outside.  For the past several weeks, I have been trying my best to get L outside more, but the weather keeps making that almost impossible.  *sigh*  Hopefully, soon, we can get outside and enjoy some good sunshine!

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One of the greatest things about being a blogger is that you get to come up with your own content.  While I do try to draw readers (new and old) in with my posts, there comes a time when a blogger needs to "break it down".  Sometimes a blogger needs to just sit down at the computer, open a vein* (please see footnote at the end of post for my definition of this phrase), and let the words flow.

Lord, I need to open a vein.

Dear readers, welcome to my therapy.

And here we go...

There is a big thing going on here behind the veil.  I haven't said anything about it because I just wanted to keep it hush-hush.  I thought I could sit on it and then come out with it like a week or so before this big thing would take place.

I was wrong.  This has become a source of stress and anxiety for me and I just need to come out with it.  If I don't get my head right about it, my husband is going to shoot me.


Our first home.  We are finally doing it.  After ten years of renting and moving at least once a year, I am so ready to be in a permanent home.  I am ready to let my creativity flow and create a home.  I am ready to just get this over with.

However, that has proved easier said than done.

If you have ever bought a home, you know there are hoops.  These hoops are making me crazy!  Do this, do that, you need copies of this...oh wait, there's a snag, do this and then that snag will be fixed...oh wait, here's another problem.....
 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

June 14.  I just want to get to June 14 and get the keys and be DONE with this whole process.  This. is. nerve-wracking!

But this is really exciting, too!  I am so happy for this to be happening, but all this other stuff is making it hard to enjoy this part of our journey.

I think I am terrified that this is all going to fall through and we are going to have to start all over and we are running out of time at the house we are living in now.....and that's the stream of thoughts my brain goes through every.day.

It is overwhelming to say the least.

Then, take that big thing and lump it on top of all the other little things that bug me on a daily basis and you have a big 'ole steaming pile of stress and anxiety that make me just want to sit and vegetate until it is all over!

But, I can't do that because, well, I am a mom and a wife, so there is that.  E and L are what keep my head in the game.

So, here I am, writing all of this out so that I am able to correctly and thoroughly verbalize my feelings because I don't know what I think or feel until I do that.  Things that are bigger than me are the hardest things for me to deal with.  If it is out of my control, I am a terrified, stressed, anxiety-riddled mess.

This is why writing is my therapy.

This is why I was given this gift; to not only help other's through my words, but to help myself.  The universe knew I wouldn't be able to verbalize correctly so they gave me this gift.

Thank you, universe.

Now, could you please just shift a little, align the stars, and get this house buying business over with?  My sanity would appreciate it.  Thanks!

And thank you, dear readers, for letting me vent today.

In the famous words of Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump, "And that's all I have to say about that."

Until next time,
Sara

*open a vein-this is a phrase often used by writer's. There are several versions of the following quote, but they all mean the same thing: "Writing is easy.  You just sit down at a typewriter, open a vein, and bleed." (Red Smith) Simply put, it means opening yourself up and letting it all go on to a page.  

***I swear I will not quote Tim McGraw in this blog post.  Scout's honor. :)***


I have been thirty for a week and, just as I expected, not much has changed.  For the past month, I have been thinking a lot about how others perceive 30 and how some get really bent out of shape about it.  I don't see what the fuss is all about, personally, but I suppose that some people just don't have the outlook I have.  I chose to look at all of this differently.  I chose, a long time ago, to look at my life differently.  I make conscious choices, every day, to view the other side of things.  I stopped concentrating on the "bad" many years ago.  After all, concentrating on all of that just kept me in the hole I was in for even longer.  I had to learn, as we usually do in life, that your outlook is everything.

It is strange to think of myself as 30.  I don't look 30 (good genes), in some instances I don't act 30 (my husband has stories), and I don't feel 30.  People have always commented how I am "wise beyond my years", well, thank you, thought it came with a price; a price that I am glad I paid in hindsight.  I guess a large majority of this strange feeling of being 30 is that I never thought I would be here, breathing, and writing to all of you.  This last week has been surreal.  I have been walking around almost as if I have new eyes.  It is almost as if the being that is the mastermind behind all of this came to me and said, "Here is your next 30, my gift to you.  You earned this."

I earned this.

I don't take gifts lightly.  I take them very seriously.  I hold them very carefully, I cherish them, use them with care, and I only share them with people whom I trust.

It took me a long, long time to get that through my head....

For the rest of my life...

Until next time,