Soul Work

Life is full of unknowns.

Some of us live in fear of those unknowns while others don't give them a second thought.

I know people who live in fear and I know people who choose to live their life out loud.

I have been thinking a lot lately about my position in my life.  I have been questioning if I actually own my life, or if I am too scared to take control.

I believe I am in the in between.

There are some things that I take initiative with and go for it (for example, this blog) while there are other things that I say "Someday..." to and file them away.

But, what if those "someday's" never come?

What if it all falls apart and I'm left to think about all those "someday's" without enough time to think about them, let alone do them?

I think it's normal for us to think about our immortality, especially if you have children.  I don't think it is healthy to dwell on it, but a good dose of reality every once in awhile can keep us on our toes and cause us to re-evaluate our lives.

Which is where I am at right now in my life.

I am re-evaluating.

Not about the face value things (my marriage, L) because I wouldn't trade those for the world.  Those are my dreams come true and I am one lucky woman in that arena of life.

I'm talking about the deeper things, the things that are at my core, the things that make me me.

Because I want to live life out loud without being afraid of rejection, obstacles, and set backs.  I just want to do the things that are at the center of my being, do them the best way I know how, and fill up that portion of my soul that is mine and mine alone.

I want to do it because I want my daughter to know that, no matter what society tells her, she is an individual and the things that are at her core, are hers and hers alone.  No one can take those from her.  She owns them and she owns the responsibility to nurture them and help them grow.

From this day forward, there will be more living out loud going on.  There will be more examples set for L, there will be more of enjoying the little things, and there will be more of quenching the thirst in my own soul.

I have a legacy to carve out and deepen.

I just pray there's enough time.

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