Throwback Thursday: Writing Style

I know it's a little late, but I wanted to show you all something I found the other day.

I used to write poetry...a lot.  I had notebooks and notebooks full of scribbles and stanzas mixed in with tears.  It was an incredible collection of my soul in written word.

Then, one day, I threw it all away.

Yup.

Every last bit of it.

It was all part of a time of my life that I was trying to forget and move on from.  So, I dumped them all in the dumpster of the place I lived at the time and walked away.

I miss every blessed word.

After that, I wrote more, but it was never really the same.  I don't write poetry at all anymore, but I miss it.  However, I seem to be one of those writer's who can only write poetry when they are depressed.  So, I suppose I can say, at least I'm not depressed!

The following is something I wrote in 2009 after the husband and I (before we were married) took a break in our relationship and he moved back to his home state and I stayed in MO, alone, in the apartment we had shared.  It was a very tough time for both of us, but that is also when I discovered Lao Tzu and I really started to look inward at myself, my hang-ups, my reasons.

I did a lot of soul-searching that summer.

It was a good summer for that.

Within

I breathed you in
Every chance I could
And I still feel like
It wasn't enough.

                                           
Intoxication.

The movie reel in my mind
Plays continuously
Every look,
Every laugh,
Every single moment.

                                             
Damnation.    

And I lay down at night
And pray for just one more
Of anything
From you.

                                          
Desperation.

Because I feel starved
And empty
And lost.

                                     
Addiction.

Broken apart before it was time
And will there ever be time again?

05-20-09

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