I just can't believe it guys!  Our little girl is turning 2 at the beginning of July!  Ahhh where did the time go?!

She has learned so much this past year and has really grown!  Her personality is starting to show and boy, is she a firecracker!  Her Daddy and I are so proud of her!  She is the light of many peoples lives and can make a complete stranger smile or chuckle.  

One of the things she acquired this year is the recognition and love for characters.  So far we like Snow White, Caillou, and.....


Until next time,

Source

I had a lot of time to myself this weekend.  E worked, L was away at her grandparent's house, and that just left me with myself and my thoughts.

Alone is a funny thing when you have grown accustomed to having someone around all the time.  I used to keep myself busy so I wouldn't have to be alone with my thoughts.  When you are a recovering time bomb, that's not a good thing.  It is very easy to slip back and start ticking again.

Alone is welcomed now.  In my days of taking care of L, doing laundry, feeding my family, going to the store, re-starting the dyer twenty times to "fluff" the already clean and dry clothes, doing dishes, cleaning.....I get lost.  If I have something I need to deal with personally, I push it away.  I store that shit like a pack rat.  I wait patiently until it is quiet, then, I pull them out one by one, look at it, analyze it, ponder it, make a decision, and move on.

And I prefer it that way.

I am a highly charged and emotional person.  I react on whim's.  I have trained myself since becoming a mother to sit on things as to be sure I don't overreact.  I learned a long time ago that if you react hastily to something, you just have a bigger mess to clean up later.  I have enough messes to clean up on a daily basis.  I'd rather not add more.

So, that was my weekend.  I have been really stressed out over buying the house, packing, and moving.  I'm also struggling with some of my own inner turmoil i.e. Mommy gained too much weight and that is wrecking havoc all over the place.  I enjoyed my time alone.  It gave me a chance to re-charge and think about things. I feel much better now.

As mothers, we need that.  Hell, as humans we need that.  We need time to step away from the daily grind, think about things, and re-charge.  Do I miss my kid when she isn't here?  Of course, but, it is good for her and I to spend time apart since we are together all day, every day.  It foster's independence in her and it give's me a chance to just be.  I like to just be. 

Source

What about you?  Do you take alone time?  What do you do with your alone time?  Leave me a comment below!

L to R: Murphy giving some rare cuddle time, a random bird perched on our garage and that quote came to mind, and L enjoying her bath time. Sadly, that's all there was this week. This week kicked my butt, honestly. I'm looking forward to the weekend! Have a great one lovelies and I will see you all back here Monday!

Whoa!  Two book related posts in one week?  Yes, that is correct!  I logged into my Goodreads the other day and remembered that I had set a goal to read 15 books this year.  I've read 4.  I need to get crackin'! The next day, I stumbled across this:

















What are your top three summer reads?
Ohh, this is a toughy!  I usually don't re-read books, but there are some that stick out in my mind that I have read in the past!  Those would have to be:  Watermelon by Marian Keys, Sing You Home by Jodi Picoult, and White Oleander by Janet Fitch. Great, great books!  Make you laugh, make you cry, make you think....great stuff!


What are your top three summer "to-reads"?


What book do you wish they would make into a movie?
This is where I have to confess something:  I don't particularly care for books being made into movies. Nine times out of ten, the producers end up leaving out some of the best parts of books (IMO) when they turn them into films.  I usually prefer the books over the movies.  That's just me! 

Has your favorite author published a new book lately, or is going to publish one soon?
Yes she has! Joyce Carol Oates released The Accursed in March of this year.  That is one that I cannot wait to get my hands on.  It is supposedly pretty lengthy, but I am up for the challenge!  This is actually the fifth book in The Gothic Saga.  (Before you ask, no, I haven't read the four before it.  Should I?  Probably.  Do I always do things in order?  Not so much.)

Synopsis from Goodreads: This eerie tale of psychological horror sees the real inhabitants of turn-of-the-century Princeton fall under the influence of a supernatural power. New Jersey, 1905: soon-to-be commander-in-chief Woodrow Wilson is president of Princeton University. On a nearby farm, Socialist author Upton Sinclair, enjoying the success of his novel 'The Jungle', has taken up residence with his family. This is a quiet, bookish community - elite, intellectual and indisputably privileged. But when a savage lynching in a nearby town is hushed up, a horrifying chain of events is initiated - until it becomes apparent that the families of Princeton have been beset by a powerful curse. The Devil has come to this little town and not a soul will be spared. 'The Accursed' marks new territory for the masterful Joyce Carol Oates - narrated with her unmistakable psychological insight, it combines beautifully transporting historical detail with chilling fantastical elements to stunning effect.

And there you have it! Leave me a comment and tell me what you are currently reading!  I love seeing and hearing about what others are reading!

Until next time,

You can purchase a copy here

I know I have been talking about doing book reviews since I started blogging.  I even have a list of books that I want to review for all of you.  I just wasn't sure how
 I wanted to go about it.  After finishing The Fault in our Stars by John Green, I knew I had to tell you all about this book!  So, here we go!  My first ever book review!

I have been wanting to read this book forever!  It has actually sat on my Goodread's list for quite some time. So, when my awesome brother got me a gift card to Amazon for my birthday, I ordered this book and another book.  I love books.  I love gift cards to buy books.  My family knows this.  If you ask me what I want, I will tell you money to buy books.  That's all I care about.  I am easy to please.  Well, and wine.  I like wine, too.

I tore through this book in a total of two evenings.  I got sucked in, ya'll.  My husband lost me.  He is aware that this happens, so, usually he just finds something else to do.

I am going to give you the synopsis that Goodread's has listed, then I am going to give you my two cents.  I will not include spoilers!  

My Two Cents: 

I am not going to post anything today except for the following information on how we can help those affected by the tornado that devastated Moore, Oklahoma yesterday.  

Even if it is only $1, those $1 donations add up too and they make a difference.

YOU can make a difference today.

Please go to this link and read over the many organizations that are accepting donations at this time.  

You can donate by phone, mail, text, or on-line.  

Our hearts are with you, Oklahoma.  Stay strong. 

Source

One of the greatest things about being a blogger is that you get to come up with your own content.  While I do try to draw readers (new and old) in with my posts, there comes a time when a blogger needs to "break it down".  Sometimes a blogger needs to just sit down at the computer, open a vein* (please see footnote at the end of post for my definition of this phrase), and let the words flow.

Lord, I need to open a vein.

Dear readers, welcome to my therapy.

And here we go...

There is a big thing going on here behind the veil.  I haven't said anything about it because I just wanted to keep it hush-hush.  I thought I could sit on it and then come out with it like a week or so before this big thing would take place.

I was wrong.  This has become a source of stress and anxiety for me and I just need to come out with it.  If I don't get my head right about it, my husband is going to shoot me.


Our first home.  We are finally doing it.  After ten years of renting and moving at least once a year, I am so ready to be in a permanent home.  I am ready to let my creativity flow and create a home.  I am ready to just get this over with.

However, that has proved easier said than done.

If you have ever bought a home, you know there are hoops.  These hoops are making me crazy!  Do this, do that, you need copies of this...oh wait, there's a snag, do this and then that snag will be fixed...oh wait, here's another problem.....
 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

June 14.  I just want to get to June 14 and get the keys and be DONE with this whole process.  This. is. nerve-wracking!

But this is really exciting, too!  I am so happy for this to be happening, but all this other stuff is making it hard to enjoy this part of our journey.

I think I am terrified that this is all going to fall through and we are going to have to start all over and we are running out of time at the house we are living in now.....and that's the stream of thoughts my brain goes through every.day.

It is overwhelming to say the least.

Then, take that big thing and lump it on top of all the other little things that bug me on a daily basis and you have a big 'ole steaming pile of stress and anxiety that make me just want to sit and vegetate until it is all over!

But, I can't do that because, well, I am a mom and a wife, so there is that.  E and L are what keep my head in the game.

So, here I am, writing all of this out so that I am able to correctly and thoroughly verbalize my feelings because I don't know what I think or feel until I do that.  Things that are bigger than me are the hardest things for me to deal with.  If it is out of my control, I am a terrified, stressed, anxiety-riddled mess.

This is why writing is my therapy.

This is why I was given this gift; to not only help other's through my words, but to help myself.  The universe knew I wouldn't be able to verbalize correctly so they gave me this gift.

Thank you, universe.

Now, could you please just shift a little, align the stars, and get this house buying business over with?  My sanity would appreciate it.  Thanks!

And thank you, dear readers, for letting me vent today.

In the famous words of Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump, "And that's all I have to say about that."

Until next time,
Sara

*open a vein-this is a phrase often used by writer's. There are several versions of the following quote, but they all mean the same thing: "Writing is easy.  You just sit down at a typewriter, open a vein, and bleed." (Red Smith) Simply put, it means opening yourself up and letting it all go on to a page.  

Happy Monday everyone!  I hope that you all had a wonderful weekend and that all of the mama's had a glorious Mother's Day!

I have a hangover from yesterday's events.

I drank one alcoholic beverage yesterday.  One.

So it isn't a hangover from the alcohol.

It's from all the running around, preparing, talking, eating, playing, and not stopping for the majority of the afternoon.

I woke up this morning with the headache I went to bed with, still feeling like I could sleep five more hours, and my eyes burn so bad from being outside yesterday, they just continually water.

Yup, I have a Mother's Day Hangover.

Despite feeling like poo today, I had a good time yesterday.  My husband's parents came over, my parents and my brother came up, and one of L's great-grandmother's was here, too.  My sister-in-law, her boyfriend, and their little girl stopped by later before they had to go on to another house and chatted with us for a bit.  L then had a meltdown because "Bee beeee" had to leave.  It was cute, but Lord that child hates it when people leave.  HA!

I did manage to have some time to take pictures yesterday.  They are mostly of L playing, but she was having so much fun yesterday, it was hard not to want to take pictures.  I missed some things, but I was in and out a lot getting things ready to eat.  Anyway, here are a few from yesterday:


It was a tad chilly yesterday, which explains the hat....Actually, that doesn't...My child wears hats all the time...She loves hats!  However, it was chilly and windy yesterday, so we put a hat on her.

And then, there were these:


Both grandmas and great-grandma got one.  They are super simple to do and they are fun.  Plus, if they love flowers like most of the ladies in this family do, they are a hit!  I have a DIY post for these later this week if you need an idea for next year!

That about sums it up for today!  I am actually going to go lie down for a while since L is napping.


Until next time,

Happy Mother's Day!  I hope today is full of happiness and wonderful things for all of you!  We are having a small get together at our place this afternoon with the grandparents and a great-grandmother where L will get to spend some much needed time with the special people in her life.

And Mommy gets to sit back and watch.  (Kinda...until she does something that gives me a heart attack...*sigh*  Toddlers...)

Anyway!

Today, I want to talk about my Mama Journey.

LRH You can read her birth story here

When L was born, like right after she was born, I remember laying in the hospital bed, exhausted and drugged to the hilt, and I was slammed with a really scary realization:

"She's out....Oh my God, what do I do now!?"

I had about a thirty second freak out moment where I wasn't sure what the hell I was supposed to be doing.  I really had the urge to just get up off the bed and go to her, but, uh, that wasn't going to happen.  (If you have ever had a baby, you know why you can't do that.  If you haven't, you can't do that.  Trust me.)  Then I had another thirty second panic moment because they weren't bringing me my baby!  I remember titling my head up and saying, "Is she okay?" and everyone assured me she was okay and then I thought, "THEN GIVE ME MY BABY!"

That's when I became a mother.

I am almost certain that those two freak out moments was the mother coming out in me.

And then there was this moment:


Do you see my face?  (Please excuse my appearance in general, I just had a baby, yo.) I can't recall a picture of me EVER having that look on my face.

That's a Mommy moment.

 Holding her, all hooked up to her little sensors and wires, talking to her, cooing at her.  Yup.

Totally in love with my child.

Then you get to go home and your husband is there and (in my case) my mother was there, too, and you aren't really alone with the baby.  You have help.  You have six hands instead of just two.  You nap when she naps and people are even cool enough to take care of the baby while you nap.  They even cook!

Bliss.

And then the husband goes back to work and your mother leaves.....

Yea.......

Here's the thing:  The baby is inside of you for nine months.  They are portable.  You take them everywhere with you, conveniently, in your belly.  They eat when you do, they sleep (usually) when you do, and they do whatever you do.  You just have to take care of yourself so the baby stays healthy.  You talk to the baby, you read to the baby, your put headphone's on your belly and let her listen to The Beatles and she kicks and swirls.....

So, all of that is SUPER COOL, right?

Then you have the baby....then people go back to their lives...

And you are alone with the baby.

I sat, in the living room floor, next to L's play pen and cried my eyes out after everyone was gone and I was alone with my baby.

I panicked.

I said, out loud. while crying,  "God, you are crazy.  I can't do this.  I am going to screw her up.  I don't know what to do.  What if  something happens?  What do I do?"

And then, a small voice, from inside of myself says:

"You do what you feel you should do.  It all works out in the end."

So, that's what I did.

And that's what I continue to do.



I don't know how it happens, but women become mothers.

We just do what we gotta do because we are Mom.  Plain and simple.

Our instincts are crazy, right?

My Mama Journey has just started, but I am glad that I get to her Mama:



Until next time,

The weather is warming up and people in our neighborhood are out planting flowers, bringing out the patio furniture, and hanging their door wreaths on their doors to welcome visitors.  I have seen many kinds the past couple of weeks and decided to try my hand at making my own.

This is the first wreath I have ever made, but I was pleasantly surprised at how well it turned out.  It isn't crazy fancy, but it is perfect to welcome the warm weather with.

Supplies:

• a natural grapevine wreath
• flowers of your choosing
• a wooden letter
• 5 1/2 inch squared edge burlap ribbon OR a pre-made burlap bow
• glue gun and extra sticks
• scissors
• paint (for your letter, if you wish)
• pain brush/sponge if painting 

Step One:

Step Two:

After you have painted, set the letter off to the side and out of the way to dry.  Take the wreath and give it a a good look.  Is it shaped right?  Do some twigs need to be trimmed back and smoothed out?  Go ahead and re-shape and trim your wreath to your desired look.  I used a pair of kitchen scissors to get the job done and just cut off all the scraggly vines and made it look like a perfect (but not too perfect) circle. 

Step Three:

Step Five: