Wow!  I am still excited from yesterday!  You all totally rock and it fills my heart and makes me happy! I am so happy that you all came over and checked out the new series that I am starting.  It is going to be wonderful-I just know it!

Today is Friday and Good Friday at that, so I hope those of you that are off today are enjoying the day with your families; whether it be outside (it is gorgeous here in the Midwest, FINALLY!) or if you are just relaxing inside.  I hope this Friday nicely rounds out your week and has you thinking about all of your favorite things that happened this week.

Here are some of mine:

Happy Monday all!  Despite the fact that we got over a foot of snow in a 24 hour period yesterday/today, I am in a fantastic mood!  I have some awesome news to share with my readers!  Are you ready for this?  (Those of you that saw the link on Facebook, don't spoil the surprise!)

I received news last night that my blog post "Crying at the Kitchen Sink" was published on Yahoo! Contributor Network.  This makes three of my original works published to that website!  I. am. stoked!  It is wonderful for me to be able to get my words out into the world and have people see them. It is a dream of mine to be a published author and I am s l o w l y getting there. By having "Crying..." published in another forum of the world wide web gives me the confidence and the determination to keep going.

I have you, my readers, to thank. When I see that things I have written here have actually been read, it makes my heart happy.  You are helping me fulfill a dream of mine and, in turn, I hope that I am touching you in some way.  All I have ever wanted was to impact people with my words.  I hope I do that, I think I do that.  Even if it is just a handful of you, I am making a difference, and that is what this blog is all about.  Words and ideas can change the world, ya know? :)

So, with all of that being said, I need ya'll's (Ha, yea, I just did that!) help!  I want to submit something else, but I am having a hard time deciding which post I should submit.  This is where you come in! I need a little bit of your time and your input.  You up for it?  Okay, good.  Here we go!

At the bottom of this post (under my signature) you will find a poll.  All I need you to do is click on the button next to which post you think I should submit next.  Easy peasy, right?  If you haven't read some of the posts that are listed, there are links below the poll for you to click on and go read or re-fresh your memories.  Sound good?  Great!

Once again, A BIG THANK YOU! to all of you who come by and read my pondering's.  You all are so wonderful!  :)  Okay, now, let's see what the next one is going to be!

Until next time,

I am going to try something new here on the blog as a way to keep me writing and as a way for me to focus after those sometimes long weeks of being a SAHM.  I want to thank Rachel over at Finding Joy for inviting all of us to partake in this great idea!

*sigh*

I hate jeans.

There.  I said it.

I never used to.  I used to love getting into my closet on my days off when I didn't have classes or work, pulling on my favorite pair of broken in jeans, and going about my day.  I welcomed them much more than any yoga pant I owned.  They just looked good.  They said, "I am comfortable, relaxed, yet stylish today.  Here I am world!  Let's go!"

That was before I had the bay-bay.

This morning I got up, showered, and went to the bedroom to put clothes on.  *sigh*  This is where my self-esteem usually plummets.  It's 8:30 in the morning and my self-esteem is usually trashed before breakfast.  Awesome.  So, there I stand in my bathrobe in front of my closet and even though I know this is going to suck, I do it anyway.

I reach for my jeans.

Now, let me help you understand something.

I don't have any jeans that fit right.  None.  I own four pairs of jeans and a pair of jeggings.  I also own a pair of yoga pants and three pairs of "comfy pants" as I call them.  Normally, I put on the comfy pants or the yoga pants, but we had to go to Target today so, since I was leaving the house, I reached for the jeans.

One pair of jeans is a size too small.  Those are my "some day" jeans.  I hang onto them because they are fairly new, but I can't get them over my ass.  My jeggings are a size too big so I am constantly yanking those up to save everyone from seeing my tramp stamp. (Oh yea, I have one.) I have two other pairs of jeans that are identical except for the wash.  One is light, one is dark.  The only places those fit correctly are in length.  They are tight on my hips and too big in the waist.  So, I am constantly yanking those up too.  They also cause my underwear to crawl down my butt and...yea, it is really just a hot mess being me most days.

I step into the dark wash-perfect-length-make-my-underwear-fall-down-my-butt jeans and then I do the crab walk to get them over my booty, up my hips, take a deep breath, and button them.  There.  They are on.

I look in the mirror and this is what I think of:



I grab a t-shirt to cover the busted can of biscuits and realize I have broken a sweat getting jeans on.

Damn it.

I spend most of the morning yanking my jeans up over my ass and then doing the lovely yank-them-up-one-more-time dance as I get out of the car in the parking lot of Target.  I get L in the cart, do another yank, and off we go into the store.  We do our shopping with Mommy stopping several times throughout our trip to do a sneak yank in various empty aisles (I bet the loss prevention worker at Target loved watching that on camera.) and I finally snap.

I march us over to the women's section and begin the hunt for the perfect pair of jeans.  I am begging in my brain, "Please Target, oh please save me from this dilemma.  Please let me find a good pair of jeans that are just perfect everywhere, like they used to be, when I was younger/thinner."

I start looking at the jeans.  I become overwhelmed.  I know I need mid-rise (and probably Spanx at this point in my life, but that is another blog post.) and I need a short length, but I don't want skinny jeans, or do I?  Can I?  Should I just stick with my bootleg?  Should I do a trouser jean?  I had a pair of those once, I liked those....I look at L, I look at the jeans, I look at the fitting room, I look back at L.  It then hits me:  I can't try on jeans with a toddler.  Am I crazy? The last time I tried clothes on when she was with me ended in Cheerios all over Kohls' fitting room floor and a super angry baby, complete with carrying her out of the store like an infant and her beating the crap out of Mommy for all the world (or at least that part of the world) to see.

I sigh.  Forget it.

"Let's just go home, L."

We go home.

So, here I sit, unsure of what to do.  I am still wearing the jeans from this morning.  Why?  Because I hate that my husband always sees me in yoga pants or comfy pants.  I am trying to retain some of my self-respect and dignity while my jeans are showing otherwise.  I'm trying, and honestly, I feel like I'm failing.  My jeans are winning this battle.  I am uncomfortable as hell and they are crawling down my backside, laughing at me.

I just can't get this right, no matter what brand I buy, what rise I buy, what length I buy-it doesn't work.  Nothing does.

The only thing I haven't tried is spending more on my jeans.  I usually buy from Old Navy or Kohl's.  I have one pair from Kohl's.  They are the Apt. 9 brand and, when they fit, they make my ass look good, but I can't find another pair like them, anywhere, in a bigger size.  That sucks.  I have determined that I will never buy Old Navy ever again because they don't hold up like they used to and their pockets sit weird on my butt.  I mean, I know I have larger butt than I used to, but Old Navy, ya don't need to help me advertise it.

So, what is this Mom to do?

I am tired of having my self-esteem wrecked at 8:30 in the morning.

I am tired of living in comfy pants.

I am tired of this even being an issue.

This Mom will take any and all advice given into consideration.  I am not kidding.  Someone please help me! Please help me take back the control over my jeans!

Until next time,

Well folks, here it is!  It's Friday!  We have (almost) made it through another week!

Last week, Shawn from Awesomely Awake posted an A to Z Now list and when I read it, I thought it was a pretty good idea.  She borrowed the idea and then encouraged all of her reader's to make their own list.  I think it is a good way to center ourselves in our busy, day-to-day lives.  So, without further adieu, here is my  A to Z Now list:

April. Next month is going to be a lovely, exciting month on the blog and in our home.  I am really looking forward to all that next month holds.

Balancing. Even though I am a SAHM, there is a lot to do in a day around here.  One child, three cat's, a husband, and me.  It can get a little crazy sometimes.  I am really trying to work on balancing everything in this house with my own needs.  It is a struggle, but I am getting there.

Coloring. L has found a new love for coloring and that makes this Mommy's heart super happy.

Diet. I am holding on very tightly to my "No snacking at night" rule.  I have failed a few times, but I keep trying!

Energy.  I have felt so depleted lately.

February.  Thank goodness that month is over.  That was a trying month with all the sickness that went through this house.

Grace. I am learning how to express it and be a pillar of it.  Grace is hard sometimes.

Hair.  I miss my long hair.  I wish it would hurry up and grow back.

Inspired. This was also what Shawn had listed on her list.  However, I am started to feel more inspired daily now that I am writing more.  I have started to really see things again, which is always lovely.

Junk.  Our garage is ridiculous, seriously.  It needs an overhaul.  Soon.

Keys.  Okay, so, we have a car that doesn't require the key be placed in the ignition to start the car.  The key just has to be present in the vehicle.  I know this.  I have known this for months.  I do it all the time.  Except for today, when I had a frantic search in my pockets for the car keys to start the car.  (As in, put the key in the ignition and start the car.) I was freaking out thinking I was going to have to take L back out of the car, go back into Target, report lost keys, and then call my husband to come get L and her dumb Mom for loosing the keys to the car.  Until I saw the ignition button and those nice words, "Push to Start."  *sigh*  Thank you, Nissan.  How many heart attacks have you given people this year?

Losing it.  Yup, Mommy loses her mind daily.  It's okay.  We just go on about our business like nothing ever happened.

March.  I love March.  It is the start of a new season, new growth, new projects, new fashion, new....everything.  I love March.

No.  I am learning to say this more.  I am also dealing with L doing it.  She has mastered the head nod and the head shake, ladies and gentlemen.  It's all downhill from here. LOL!

Optometrist.  Mommy needs an eye exam and new glasses.

Peace.  Yea, stole this one too, but we all need peace.  Peace within, peace from the outside world, peace at night when the baby is sleeping.....Peace.  Good word.  Good idea.

Quiet.  It is true what they say:  If your toddler is quiet, you better go check on them.  You may find a whole box of wipes in the toilet like I did! Or, hey, you may even find a stuffed Simon from The Chipmunks head first in the toilet with the lid closed like Daddy did!

Restore.  Restore myself, restore order in our home.

Silly.  L is silly.  She encourages Mommy and Daddy to be silly, too.  Everyone wins!  We all need to be silly once in a while, don't you agree?

Tea.  I love my herbal tea.  Oh, how I love it.

Up.  I think one day, when the weather is warmer, L and I are going to go outside in the backyard, lay on a blanket, and look at the sky.  It has been a long time since I have viewed the world from the ground.

View.  I need to pick up a camera again and start changing my view of the world.

Writing.  I love that I am doing this more.  I am feeling myself start to center again after taking a really long hiatus.  I missed writing.  I missed being able to understand what I am thinking through my writing.  I have a disconnect between my thoughts and my mouth sometimes.  It is better for me to write them down.  Always has been, always will be.

Xylophone.  L has a toy one that she bangs on a lot during the day.  She get's very excited that it makes noise.  She also loves her drum. LOL!

Year.  The husband and I will have been married for a year next month!

Zoo. I can't wait to take L to the zoo soon! It will be her first trip!  

And there you have it!  I encourage you all to write your own list, too.  I feel better after doing this.  It helps me to be present in the here and now and not think about all the other things that need to be done around here.

Until next time,