I had every intention of posting yesterday, but then decided not to.  Eric actually took his day off yesterday, so we had family day and hung out around here.  It was nice and much needed.  I didn't do anything in the way of housework so I am catching up on all of it today before our crazy, busy weekend starts. 

L and I kicked off the weekend with having her Spring picture's taken today.  She has the cutest Easter dress, little white shoes, and an adorable hat (that she picked out herself).  So, we got dressed up this morning and made our way to the nearest portrait studio to welcome Spring.

And then all hell broke loose.

L did not want her picture's taken today.  At all.  Not one bit.  It didn't matter how goofy the photographer and I acted, she just wanted to cry, scream, clutch Ellie (her lovey), and look at me as if to say, "Why do you make me do these things you horrible woman!?"

(Oh because, dear child, when I gave birth to you, they made me sign a contract at the hospital stating and promising that I would always make you do things you hated.)  <----That's sarcasm in case some of you don't know me in real life. :)

So, we got one good pose, which is totally enough for me.  I just hated putting her through all of that for one picture. I'm sure it won't be the last time she freaks out on me in a portrait studio.

She was mad at me the whole ride home.  Wouldn't smile at me, wouldn't answer my questions with her new found head nod's; she just stared out the window, clutching Ellie.  I cracked the sunroof thinking she would like the wind blowing through her hair...nothing.

Nice.

My 20 month old is brooding like a teenager.

*sigh*

So, you know what I did to get into her good grace's again?

I fed my child chocolate pudding with her lunch.

I let her get super, duper messy.  I let her wipe her hands through her hair, all over her face, the table, the chair...everywhere.

I just let her go.

For anyone that knows me, knows that I have let go a lot since she was born.  I was a clean freak before she was born.  Bad.  Everything in it's place, turned the right way, etc.  Bad.  I drove people crazy.  I know I did. 

I just ate my own lunch and let her go.  

She was having a blast.

She needed to feel like a 20 month old again and in control of her own existence.

L is a lot like me.  

When I feel like something is out of my control or I am being made to do things that I don't want to do (and, yes, even at almost 30, this still happens) I get mad.  I brood.  I may even cry.  

The only thing that makes me feel better is by doing something I want to do, to take back control of my existence.

My daughter just needed the same thing.

I would never deny her that.  Ever.  Within reason.  

What about you?  

Do you feel like your life, or a part of it, is out of control?  Do you feel like you are dictated by some one or some thing?

If you do, go do something for you this weekend.  Whatever makes you feel your best, whatever makes you happy, go do it.  Stop living in the cycle, stop living under people's thumbs, stop living for other people.

Live for you.

And hey, if it's chocolate pudding that will make you feel better, L can attest that it works. :)

Have a great weekend all!

Until next time,