I've had enough.
So, I'm just going to lay it all out there and then we can proceed, K?
I didn't breastfeed my child.
I vaccinate my child.
I stopped completely rocking my child to sleep at about 9 months old. As a matter of fact, it's because SHE didn't want it anymore.
L slept in our bedroom with us, in her crib, for the first ten months of her life. We lived in a one bedroom apartment. There was no bassinet. There was no co-sleeper. She slept in her crib from the first night she came home.
I used the cry it out method. (Still do.)
I use disposable diapers.
I didn't make my own baby food.
My child eats what I fix for her. I do not make her a second meal. I'm sorry...you eat what I make you or it's a looong time till breakfast. My parent's did the same thing to me-I turned out fine. (The same rule applies to my husband. He knows this.)
Sometimes, my child eats pre-cooked chicken fingers and Easy Mac. Why? BECAUSE SHE LIKES THEM! SHE'S 2! She isn't training for a marathon! My God, I'm lucky she is even EATING THIS WEEK!
My child watches TV. Our TV is always on. However, L is more inclined to run around the house than sit down and watch television.
I give my kid Kool-Aid...with sugar....(half the amount of sugar, but it still has sugar in it)
We do not co-sleep. Period. End of discussion.
My child will take antibiotics, Tylenol and Motrin. I haven't noticed anything weird growing out of her, so I assume we are okay.
Now...tell me something...
Does THIS look like an un-loved, malnourished, dirty, socially inadequate, 2 year old to you?
Do you see any of that in this one?
Didn't think so.
I am so sick and tired of mothers (and that is all types of mothers...even mothers who are now grandmothers) getting behind a computer screen and spewing out hateful things to people about how to parent someone else's child.
I have seen a few comments this week on Facebook and Instagram that have made my head spin. The audacity of some people makes me angry. No one has the right to tell a mother how she should raise her child. I am perfectly confident that the things that I have chosen to do (and have chosen not to do) are not harming L. We've survived two years of Mommy doing it the way I think is best, so I'm not completely failing.
I have had instances where someone has blasted me about various things that I am doing (or am not doing).
This was my response:
"Did you lay in a hospital bed for 15 hours in labor? Did you push her out of your vagina? No? Then STFU!"
Seriously. If you didn't give birth to the child in question, shut up. Mothers have it hard enough raising what we created. We don't need outsiders coming in and giving their unwanted opinions. Especially if you are a mother yourself! Did you forget what it was like to parent? HELLO!
Now, if you feel that a child is being abused, neglected, etc. then perhaps you should call the proper authorities. Please, for the love of God, DO NOT go around blabbing your suspicions around to everyone else in your town about how you think so-and-so's child is being abused. Call the authorities, report, and keep your mouth shut to everyone else. It's called being a responsible and functioning member of society.
Us Mom's have to stick together. I'm tired of being silently judged in Target or at the gas station. I'm tired of a mom who appears to have it all together, look down her nose at me, and say, "You really shouldn't use those diapers."
To which, I reply, "And please don't teach your child to behave like you."
Had that mother approached me differently, the conversation may have gone completely different, but I don't have to put up with that kind of treatment from a complete stranger in Target.
Or from anyone...anywhere.
And neither should anyone else.
Mom's....let's be confident enough in our parenting abilities and throw the middle finger up to anyone who has the balls to say anything to us about how we parent our children. You gave LIFE to that child you are raising. You have every right to do or not do what you see fit for your child.
The next time someone questions your parenting, ask them if they pushed your kid out of their vagina.
They will be so flabbergasted-they won't ever speak to you again.
Problem solved.
You don't need people like that in your life, or your child's life, anyway.
Please share your stories below! Let's SUPPORT each other!
Also, please feel free to share this if you agree!
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! I had someone tell me earlier today that formula infects babies, and how his gf is an amazing mother because she has made it 8 months without "infecting" her child!!!! Someone told him he needed to re-word that and he said "Once again I didnt mean this to be in any harm to non-breast feeding moms, but I will not make a retraction of wording nor did I say that your children are stupid because of formula feeding. It is a infection in many ways......". Thank you for making me feel like crap because I don't breast feed! Now apparently Pampers diapers are leaving chemical burns on babies? Not sure because I STILL USE THEM BECAUSE WE HAVE HAD NO PROBLEMS and oh boy it goes on and on!
ReplyDeleteThe breastfeeding/formula feeding is something that I just can't get over. If formula was "bad", why would they sell it? I know mother's who have breastfed-good for them! They did something I couldn't do! That doesn't make them better than those of us who chose not to, or in my case, couldn't. However, I have seen mother's who have breastfed blatantly bully formula-feeding mom's. That's not fair and that's not nice. You are not better than someone else because you chose to do something differently from them. It's crap!
DeleteSara, I agree with so many of the things you say. My little darlings (who were actually very difficult chiclren) are now grown. Even 20+ years ago, there were mothers out there who thought it was their right and privilege to tell other mothers how to do their job. If a person isn't asking for advise, none should be offered!
ReplyDeleteKathy, I know this has probably been going on longer than I have any knowledge of, but it seems that it is so much worse now that we have social media. It bother's me that other mother's get on Facebook, for example, and just rip other mother's up one side and down the other. What happened to keeping your mouth shut in regards to other people's children? I am pretty sure my mom never once stepped up to one of my friend's mother's and degraded her about the way she was raising her children. That's just rude and not anyone's place.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you! I use cloth diapers, but that's because I want to save money. I will gladly tell you all about it, if you ask me, but I would never look at another woman's child and go like "Why aren't you cloth diapering? It's much better for the baby, she'll get rashes from those disposables, you're a bad mother for not cloth diapering!" or anything else like that. Your child, your choice, it's as simple as that!
ReplyDeleteAmen sister! I toyed with the idea of cloth diapering, but we lived in an apartment at the time with no washer/dryer hook-up. We had a coin-op in the complex and I wasn't sure how to go about cleaning the diapers before the actual washing of the diapers. Then I started thinking about other people's germs on my kids diapers and I got freaked out and said, "Okay, no."
DeleteI'm weird like that. LOL! I'm not normally a germaphobe, but I was over-thinking A LOT of things when I was pregnant. HA! Hormones!
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