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This happens a lot when you people watch.
Sometimes you see things that can't be unseen, no matter how hard you try.
I am going to attempt to empty my head here, but I want to preface it with the following:
Sometimes you see things that another mother does or allows to happen and you know, inside of yourself, that it is wrong. However, because of the way you were raised and because the situation took place in public, you kept your mouth shut. You kept your mouth shut and you prayed for the child.
*sigh* Here goes...
Yesterday, L and I met a friend of mine and her kids at the park so our three girls could run off some energy. This is our normal thing throughout the week (and I will cry when it gets too cold to take them to the park to play.) and my friend and I always find a table or a bench to sit on to chat and watch our girls play. It's nice to go to a park, allow your child to go off and play, and have another mother to talk to. It's so nice. I love it. I don't know how many times my sanity has been saved by just getting to go and talk to another female adult.
For the most part, our kids had the park to themselves until just before it was about time for us to leave and another set of kids and moms started showing up. We watched the kids race to the playground and my friend leans over and says, "Look at that poor little girl. She has to keep pulling her diaper up because it is so full it keeps falling down." Sure enough, she,and it. was. I'm assuming the child was still in potty training mode so that was the reason for the diaper, but this little girl would take a few steps and yank up her diaper, take a few steps, yank, etc.
We sat there and watched, in awe. We talked about our diaper changing methods, how we change our kids before we leave the house, we don't allow the diapers to get that full, etc. Then, suddenly, my friend goes, "Oh look!" and, that little girls diaper had finally come undone from one side, had fallen down around her ankles, and she was trying to walk. I assume her older sibling called to their mother, "Mom, LOOK!" and her mom says something to the effect of, "Well, pick her up and bring her here."
I didn't see the rest of what happened because L was too busy trying to dig her way to China at the bottom of a slide, but my friend told me about it later in a text conversation.
That mother made that little girl sit on the bench while the rest of her siblings/other kids played.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
There is so much I want to say right now, but I am refraining......
I am refraining because I don't know their situation. It's not my place to judge or accuse or point fingers. Do I think that all could have been done differently? Yes, but I am not her mother living in the life that she is living in.
However, I was appalled, confused, and angry, and when those all happen at once, I do the only thing I know to do....
I prayed.
I prayed to God for that child right then and there and then again last night before bed. I prayed for her and her siblings. I prayed that, somehow, those children's needs would be met and that they would be safe and clean and healthy all their young adult lives. I prayed that the mother was trying her hardest and that she was putting her children's needs before her own. I asked God to give those children a better life if they weren't in a good situation.
I prayed for them because I'm a mother and I can't stand to see children like that.
As mother's, we see things and think, "Oh hell no! I wouldn't allow that/do that," but we don't know what goes on in other people's homes. Part of being an adult, a human being, is having to see really bad things sometimes and we have to decide how we handle it. That's what makes or breaks a person. I could have offered that mother one of L's pull-ups, but something in me told me not to. Something said, "No, don't. That's going to do more harm than good." Some people are prideful. I didn't want to insult her, I just wanted to help.
I just pray that child and her siblings are going to be okay.
I pray that was a fluke.
I pray, I pray, I pray....
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